An Ode to the Neighbor

Upon my parents' relocation to their current residence two decades ago, they were warmly greeted by the neighbor. Tragically, his wife fell ill within a few months and eventually passed away. Following his wife's demise, he, a widower, distanced himself from our entire community. For the past 21 years, he lived alone, typically maintaining solitude. His interactions were primarily limited to the essential vendors—those providing milk, newspapers, and food supplies.

He had a routine of rising at 4 am, taking a morning stroll, consciously avoiding encounters with fellow residents in the colony. To ensure minimal social interactions, he preferred going shopping around noon. By 8 pm, he would retire for the night, dozing off into a peaceful slumber. While his wife was alive both of them used to interact with my parents. However, following her passing, he started avoiding any interaction with them.

Whenever his son had the opportunity, he would visit him. According to what we learned from the son, his father chose not to move in with him. Additionally, he had completely severed ties with his wife's relatives as well. On two occasions, his son reached out to us on our landline when his father didn't respond to his calls. When my parents checked on him, he barely expressed gratitude and instead ended the conversation with a brief "hmm." However, I was truly impressed by him as he lived his life adhering to a routine, in his own unique way, and must have found happiness in his own world.

Recently, as I accompanied my dad to the hospital, I observed him sitting on his balcony, providing instructions to the painter working on the gate. The following day, I hurried back with my mother to gather more belongings for the hospital since my dad had been admitted. Once again, he was on the balcony, giving instructions to the painter. That was the last time I saw him.

Upon our return, we noticed his gate was locked, assuming that the son had possibly taken his dad, as it happened occasionally. However, today, a neighbor hurried to our home after reading about his death in the newspaper, seeking additional information. As anticipated, none of us had his contact details, but after a few inquiries, we managed to reach the son. According to the son, his dad had passed away two days ago. Feeling unwell, the son had requested his cousin to take him to Kochi, where the son lived. Unfortunately, his dad passed away on the way.It dawned on us that it was the very same day when my dad was discharged, and we had returned from the hospital.

It must be acknowledged that he opted for a solitary life and passed away in solitude, without causing any trouble for anyone, including his son. He serves as an illustration of the idea that we enter and leave this world in solitude, with others merely acting as spectators, adding drama to our lives.  confess a sense of sorrow, knowing the 4 am glow of his bedroom lights and the sight of him reading the newspaper until the milk vendor arrived will be missed forever.

Even in silence, he made his presence felt.

What's in a name?

What's in a name? Many of us must have come across this question in our lives. Last few months, most of us would have discovered that everything is in our name. If the names on our Aadhar and PAN do not match, they cannot be linked. Going back to the scenario, I discovered the pain when I was trying to open an account at SBI. Thanks to the lady at the counter, my PAN and Aadhar have the same name, and so does my passport. There are other IDs where I need to get my name rectified. Yet another battle I need to fight.

Last year, I visited a bank to move my investments from another bank as it was closing its operation in India. The branch head was a soft-spoken guy who understood my concerns and was ready to help me. He got all the papers signed and asked me to relax. "It's all taken care of," he said with a smile. As it was the last month of the financial year, he expected me to do some investments to meet his target. I had to politely decline his "investment" proposals as I was taken for a ride by the other bank. Within a week, I saw opt-out happening from the previous bank and the investments appearing under my new bank. I was elated. Little did I know that the bank mandate was still linked to the old bank, which is no longer operational in India.

As I am sitting trying to figure out how to sort out this current mess, I wonder why we have this issue in the first place. If an educated person is struggling, what about the uneducated ones? The answer is straightforward, someone somewhere is not doing his job honestly. If a person at work cannot copy the name from the proof submitted for ID generation properly, is he fit for the job? Why does a person selling insurance, mutual funds etc never insist on providing a nominee? In an era where we talk about climate change and planting more trees, why do some institutions still insist on paperwork?

That day is not far away when one cannot withdraw one's money from the bank as the name does not match the ID. As someone told me recently
"If you really think, it is a matter of just changing an entry in a simple database table." But for bureaucracy, "it's my way or the highway."

Does Goodness Deserve Loyalty?

 

This question has been lingering in my mind for a long time. If I pose this question to anyone, the answer would be an obvious No. But, if I change the question and ask this if nicety is taken for granted or considered as someone's right, how do you respond?

Now, why am I asking this question? Well, I have a maid who has been working for nearly a decade. Unlike everyone else, she comes to my house only when I call her which is maybe once or twice a week. Understanding her situation back home, I ensured she gets paid the same amount as her other employers in whose house she goes every day without a break.

Even when I had moved abroad, I continued to pay her. Even during the lockdown, she lost her job almost everywhere but I continued. My whole thought process was that instead of helping any unknown person, I should help a person whom I know personally.

But here comes the problem, whenever she needs money and she asks me as if it is her right. I did help her financially on a couple of occasions without expecting her to pay back and at the end of the month, she still expected to be paid her full salary.  

What saddened me was that even if I had called her for work, she wouldn't turn up and I see her working for my neighbor where she doesn't have any such expectations.

This month I had similar incidents. One day she came home and asked me to reach out to my friends in the US and start a donation drive for her ailing mother. I just ignored her statement and she did her work and left.

A few days later, I called her for work, but she didn't turn up. Today, I saw her at my neighbor's house and asked her to come to work. She came and did a very half-hearted job.

The question popped up in my mind, I have been helping her but why is she taking me for granted? She is loyal to people who don't even exchange pleasantries with her.

 I am not a perfect human being, I have my shortcomings too. What do you think I need to do now?

Guns 'n' Roses

 

Thor, Love and Thunder soundtrack made me listen to Guns'n'Roses's Sweet child o' mine after a long time. It's one of my Liked songs on my Spotify list. More than the song it's the memory associated with
the song that made me look back to my younger days.

Immediately after my graduation, I got a job where I met an incredible bunch of people. It was my first time away from home but these people never let me miss home. Though we didn't speak the same language, there was lots of warmth and affection among us.

In this group, we had this insanely talented guy who had learned the strings all by himself. He was the musician in the group, playing and singing Western and Bollywood songs with ease. It was during those
times, the early 2000's we had the email boom, and this guy had his email ID as axlrose***@xyz.com. Any gettogether, he was ready with his guitar, singing songs so effortlessly. It was due to him, that I
explored Guns'n'Roses, Queen, etc to name a few

We were in touch till we worked for the same organization, then he left for higher education in the US. When I heard the soundtrack of Thor, I remembered him, his ever-smiling face, and all those good

Conjectures over Corona

Many have shared opinions on Corona, what to do, what not to do, whether to have lockdown or not over social media, newspapers, news channels, etc. Herd immunity, lockdown, many such jargons were thrown in. However, within the current population, no one has experienced such a pandemic before. The virus did bring the entire world to a standstill, and with all the lockdown in place, it still found its way, infecting anyone that came the way.  Plotting a chart, checking the patterns doesn't help, they are mere conjectures from scientists, epidemiologists, and purists.

The solution to containing the virus lies within each human being. However, has anyone ever been successful in analyzing human behavior? Everyone's thoughts ought to align and they should work in cohesion, an impossible feat to achieve. Till then, let the virus make us dance to its tunes.

Universe Conspiring Mane Story

This may sound absurd but it is a true story. I never had a fascination with long hair since childhood. The shorter, the better was always my myntra. My parents took it in their stride or they accepted me as a tomboy. All through my growing years, I had maintained my short hair look.

It was during my pre-university time, my grandmom visited us and decided to stay back for a few months. During that period, we found a long lost connection and all she requested was to see me in long hair. I budged. As she was around, it was not difficult to maintain my mane.

During my graduation and the first few years of my employment, I had hair till my shoulder. There were few relatives who thought I looked good with that look. Opinions matters during that stage. One fine day, I went ahead and shortened my mane. What triggered that action, I still have no explanation. That look stayed for a few years.

I succumbed to the pressure of elders as they thought no suitors will agree to my hairstyle.  Around the late 20s and early 30s, I got inspired by the straight hair look and went ahead and got my hair chemically treated.  That was the worst decision I had taken, not only it was a costly affair but also it damaged my hair.

My rebel soul woke up again and I went ahead to shorten my straightened locks. There was no looking back again. Many did tell me to be more feminine and to grow my hair but this time I was very determined.

I had shifted to the US and that stint really was a revelation. The female who is supposed to be the "man" in the lesbian community adorns such a hairstyle. I was approached by many females in clubs and pubs as they misread my hairstyle.

When I returned back to India, I had this deep desire to be this typical Indian girl in kurta pyjamas, bindi on her forehead, and neatly partitioned hair.  But I had become so used to my short hair and its hassle-free maintenance.

With the corona scare and the nation under complete lockdown, and no parlors opened, my hair has started growing. I feel that this is the way, the universe has conspired to get me what I wanted.

October Challenge

I need it as much as you want it
When I need you and you need me
We shall together do it together
Till then,
Don't misconstrue my silence
And force yourself on me!

#consent #intimacy

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Don't worry, say sorry
Convenient way to cover up for one's actions

#sorry

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If I were Ravan
I would never abduct Sita as I know what the outcome would be

#ravan #dussehra

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Friend "You look depressed. What is your problem?"
Me "Well, not having any problem is my problem."

#problem #kbc

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Beware and be aware, Karma can strike any time!

#karma #dussehra

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If I were a pilot
Though I will be always up in the air
I will remain grounded

#airforceday


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Your faith in yourself can change your fate!

#faith

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If you were paid for every word you spoke
You may end up being eloquent with your words
But, will you be elegant with your thoughts?

#paidforeveryword

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I chose to be happy
Instead of chasing it
And it made the difference

#choice #chase

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I am feeling so low, even getting high doesn't help

#low

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Eat + Exercise + Sleep = Good Health
If health is taken care of, rest will be a cakewalk!

#2019

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I am too raw for a RAW agent and it will be definitely a raw deal for them

#raw


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