An Ode to the Neighbor

Upon my parents' relocation to their current residence two decades ago, they were warmly greeted by the neighbor. Tragically, his wife fell ill within a few months and eventually passed away. Following his wife's demise, he, a widower, distanced himself from our entire community. For the past 21 years, he lived alone, typically maintaining solitude. His interactions were primarily limited to the essential vendors—those providing milk, newspapers, and food supplies.

He had a routine of rising at 4 am, taking a morning stroll, consciously avoiding encounters with fellow residents in the colony. To ensure minimal social interactions, he preferred going shopping around noon. By 8 pm, he would retire for the night, dozing off into a peaceful slumber. While his wife was alive both of them used to interact with my parents. However, following her passing, he started avoiding any interaction with them.

Whenever his son had the opportunity, he would visit him. According to what we learned from the son, his father chose not to move in with him. Additionally, he had completely severed ties with his wife's relatives as well. On two occasions, his son reached out to us on our landline when his father didn't respond to his calls. When my parents checked on him, he barely expressed gratitude and instead ended the conversation with a brief "hmm." However, I was truly impressed by him as he lived his life adhering to a routine, in his own unique way, and must have found happiness in his own world.

Recently, as I accompanied my dad to the hospital, I observed him sitting on his balcony, providing instructions to the painter working on the gate. The following day, I hurried back with my mother to gather more belongings for the hospital since my dad had been admitted. Once again, he was on the balcony, giving instructions to the painter. That was the last time I saw him.

Upon our return, we noticed his gate was locked, assuming that the son had possibly taken his dad, as it happened occasionally. However, today, a neighbor hurried to our home after reading about his death in the newspaper, seeking additional information. As anticipated, none of us had his contact details, but after a few inquiries, we managed to reach the son. According to the son, his dad had passed away two days ago. Feeling unwell, the son had requested his cousin to take him to Kochi, where the son lived. Unfortunately, his dad passed away on the way.It dawned on us that it was the very same day when my dad was discharged, and we had returned from the hospital.

It must be acknowledged that he opted for a solitary life and passed away in solitude, without causing any trouble for anyone, including his son. He serves as an illustration of the idea that we enter and leave this world in solitude, with others merely acting as spectators, adding drama to our lives.  confess a sense of sorrow, knowing the 4 am glow of his bedroom lights and the sight of him reading the newspaper until the milk vendor arrived will be missed forever.

Even in silence, he made his presence felt.

What's in a name?

What's in a name? Many of us must have come across this question in our lives. Last few months, most of us would have discovered that everything is in our name. If the names on our Aadhar and PAN do not match, they cannot be linked. Going back to the scenario, I discovered the pain when I was trying to open an account at SBI. Thanks to the lady at the counter, my PAN and Aadhar have the same name, and so does my passport. There are other IDs where I need to get my name rectified. Yet another battle I need to fight.

Last year, I visited a bank to move my investments from another bank as it was closing its operation in India. The branch head was a soft-spoken guy who understood my concerns and was ready to help me. He got all the papers signed and asked me to relax. "It's all taken care of," he said with a smile. As it was the last month of the financial year, he expected me to do some investments to meet his target. I had to politely decline his "investment" proposals as I was taken for a ride by the other bank. Within a week, I saw opt-out happening from the previous bank and the investments appearing under my new bank. I was elated. Little did I know that the bank mandate was still linked to the old bank, which is no longer operational in India.

As I am sitting trying to figure out how to sort out this current mess, I wonder why we have this issue in the first place. If an educated person is struggling, what about the uneducated ones? The answer is straightforward, someone somewhere is not doing his job honestly. If a person at work cannot copy the name from the proof submitted for ID generation properly, is he fit for the job? Why does a person selling insurance, mutual funds etc never insist on providing a nominee? In an era where we talk about climate change and planting more trees, why do some institutions still insist on paperwork?

That day is not far away when one cannot withdraw one's money from the bank as the name does not match the ID. As someone told me recently
"If you really think, it is a matter of just changing an entry in a simple database table." But for bureaucracy, "it's my way or the highway."

Does Goodness Deserve Loyalty?

 

This question has been lingering in my mind for a long time. If I pose this question to anyone, the answer would be an obvious No. But, if I change the question and ask this if nicety is taken for granted or considered as someone's right, how do you respond?

Now, why am I asking this question? Well, I have a maid who has been working for nearly a decade. Unlike everyone else, she comes to my house only when I call her which is maybe once or twice a week. Understanding her situation back home, I ensured she gets paid the same amount as her other employers in whose house she goes every day without a break.

Even when I had moved abroad, I continued to pay her. Even during the lockdown, she lost her job almost everywhere but I continued. My whole thought process was that instead of helping any unknown person, I should help a person whom I know personally.

But here comes the problem, whenever she needs money and she asks me as if it is her right. I did help her financially on a couple of occasions without expecting her to pay back and at the end of the month, she still expected to be paid her full salary.  

What saddened me was that even if I had called her for work, she wouldn't turn up and I see her working for my neighbor where she doesn't have any such expectations.

This month I had similar incidents. One day she came home and asked me to reach out to my friends in the US and start a donation drive for her ailing mother. I just ignored her statement and she did her work and left.

A few days later, I called her for work, but she didn't turn up. Today, I saw her at my neighbor's house and asked her to come to work. She came and did a very half-hearted job.

The question popped up in my mind, I have been helping her but why is she taking me for granted? She is loyal to people who don't even exchange pleasantries with her.

 I am not a perfect human being, I have my shortcomings too. What do you think I need to do now?

Guns 'n' Roses

 

Thor, Love and Thunder soundtrack made me listen to Guns'n'Roses's Sweet child o' mine after a long time. It's one of my Liked songs on my Spotify list. More than the song it's the memory associated with
the song that made me look back to my younger days.

Immediately after my graduation, I got a job where I met an incredible bunch of people. It was my first time away from home but these people never let me miss home. Though we didn't speak the same language, there was lots of warmth and affection among us.

In this group, we had this insanely talented guy who had learned the strings all by himself. He was the musician in the group, playing and singing Western and Bollywood songs with ease. It was during those
times, the early 2000's we had the email boom, and this guy had his email ID as axlrose***@xyz.com. Any gettogether, he was ready with his guitar, singing songs so effortlessly. It was due to him, that I
explored Guns'n'Roses, Queen, etc to name a few

We were in touch till we worked for the same organization, then he left for higher education in the US. When I heard the soundtrack of Thor, I remembered him, his ever-smiling face, and all those good

Universe Conspiring Mane Story

This may sound absurd but it is a true story. I never had a fascination with long hair since childhood. The shorter, the better was always my myntra. My parents took it in their stride or they accepted me as a tomboy. All through my growing years, I had maintained my short hair look.

It was during my pre-university time, my grandmom visited us and decided to stay back for a few months. During that period, we found a long lost connection and all she requested was to see me in long hair. I budged. As she was around, it was not difficult to maintain my mane.

During my graduation and the first few years of my employment, I had hair till my shoulder. There were few relatives who thought I looked good with that look. Opinions matters during that stage. One fine day, I went ahead and shortened my mane. What triggered that action, I still have no explanation. That look stayed for a few years.

I succumbed to the pressure of elders as they thought no suitors will agree to my hairstyle.  Around the late 20s and early 30s, I got inspired by the straight hair look and went ahead and got my hair chemically treated.  That was the worst decision I had taken, not only it was a costly affair but also it damaged my hair.

My rebel soul woke up again and I went ahead to shorten my straightened locks. There was no looking back again. Many did tell me to be more feminine and to grow my hair but this time I was very determined.

I had shifted to the US and that stint really was a revelation. The female who is supposed to be the "man" in the lesbian community adorns such a hairstyle. I was approached by many females in clubs and pubs as they misread my hairstyle.

When I returned back to India, I had this deep desire to be this typical Indian girl in kurta pyjamas, bindi on her forehead, and neatly partitioned hair.  But I had become so used to my short hair and its hassle-free maintenance.

With the corona scare and the nation under complete lockdown, and no parlors opened, my hair has started growing. I feel that this is the way, the universe has conspired to get me what I wanted.

As Pink as it gets!

It was the last week in college. All were signing autographs and filling in the slam book. The college magazine will be handed over in two days’ time. There was a section in there where we had to fill some trivial questions about ourselves like your favorite film, favorite quote, favorite song, so on and so forth. I was the last one to submit the questionnaire for I had difficulty in figuring out my favorite song. I started thinking how the entire process went.

 “Will anyone really care about others’ likes and dislikes? It was easy to fill in details about the film, quote etc but what about the song?” I wondered.  

I shrouded off “It’s me being typical.”

I made a quick glance through my music collection, all the downloaded and copied songs. It had taken lots of efforts to have that kind of collection. Thankfully I had it i.e patience.

“I like all of them, that is why I listen to them. Now which one to pick?” I contemplated.

“Everything I do, I do it for you by Bryan Adams. Should I pick that one? Nooo … People will judge me as a hopelessly romantic person when I have always been portrayed as this studious kind.  There was one person besides me in the class who liked that song. If he suggests the same, everything will be out there in the open.” I wondered.

The following night, I saw Armageddon. More than the film, I loved the soundtrack “I Don't Want to Miss a Thing.” I had it in the music collection but never knew it was from this film.

I realized that the entire western collection was from a friend. To be precise, he was my senior in school. We had never exchanged pleasantries in school.  Our friendship started because we were doing courses from the same university, he was doing his masters and I was doing bachelors, both in computers. We had the same books and similar topics. We were introduced by a mutual friend, who was my senior and his junior.

Apart from exchanging books, we started exchanging movies, songs etc. He introduced me to the world of western music. Earlier, my western music was limited to one and only, the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.  Apart from being a good singer, he was a prolific musician. Few times, he did perform “Hotel California”, “Lady in Red” for me within the closed doors of his home. I had heard him take the name of Steven Taylor too.

After watching Armageddon, I decided to hear the songs from Aerosmith from my collection, this time very attentively.  I was immediately addicted to the song “Pink”.

“Pink is not only my favorite crayon, it’s favorite song too!” I thought as I happily filled in the questionnaire.

By the end of the week, we received the college magazine.

He asked “Pink? Is there any song by that name?”

 “Of course. You will get it today. Wait for my email.” I chuckled.

We left college. He moved on, I moved on. We were never meant to be together.

I was dating a guy who was not from my region, who didn’t understand my language or my culture. All we knew was that we could tolerate each other and there was a comfort level.

We were invited by a friend for a Karaoke night. I was super excited when my turn came. Without any second thoughts, I declared “Pink is my favorite crayon and my favorite song.”

Clamors were replaced by deafening silence.  I flustered. I was never used to this kind of appalling attention. I looked at him, his face had turned red.

“What is happening? Is he, all right? Why does he look mortified?” I wondered.

That didn’t deter me. I sang my heart out.

We left the place in a hurry. All through the trip back home, he was all grumpy.

After few heated exchanges, he said “Do you know the lyrics of the song? Do you understand its meaning?”

“Of course, I do. It’s about color Pink. So well written!” I said.

“Are you sure? If you had known, you would have never declared it as your favorite song! Go and do some research. One more thing, please don’t embarrass me next time with your acts.” he said angrily.

That night, we never exchanged our custom good nights and sweet nothings. My ego was hurt, so was his.

I started doing my research. As I discovered the hidden meaning of the song, I was really amazed by the clever craft of words. My respect for Steven Taylor increased in multifold.

“There is nothing condescending in the lyrics. You need to grow up!” I texted him.

“Ok.” He replied. That was the last time I heard from him.

Unborn Tomorrow

“It’s 9 pm, hand over the remote” she said. Curiosity was killing her. The whole day, she was thinking about it, venomously cursing all the characters who could possibly be the perpetrator. All the while, he has been noticing her. Her zaniness brought a smile on his face. “Mom, it is just a TV show. They can change the storyline anytime. Why do you suffer so much?” he asked amusingly. “You do not know the ordeals women have to go through. It’s always been a man’s world even though the world is said to have progressed” she said dishearteningly.

There was an unwritten pact between him and her. He got to watch television till 9 pm, after which she takes over.  She watches three shows back to back. In the morning while doing her chores, she thinks about the characters and how the stories will move forward. During lunch, when she discusses with him, he has seen her messing up the storyline and the characters. Correcting her, he said “Mom, you have got it wrong. Don’t you know that this character is not a part of the show which you are talking about? He is the part of the next show”. Immediately, he chuckled “What is wrong with me? I am following these unrealistic TV shows. I need to find ways not to waste my time watching them with her”.

However, he always enjoyed watching the shows with her. She cursed, she cried, she laughed along with the characters. “She is such a pure, innocent soul” he thought. Once she is done with the shows, she goes to the kitchen to make sure that it is clean and the new day can be welcomed with a hot, strong tea. After that, while she calls it a day, he continues to watch television.

“Didn’t I tell you? He was always mean to her. He deserved the punishment. It is called Karma” she said beamingly. “Mom, this is insanely crazy. The fictional show makes you so happy!” he said.  “Here is the remote. Tomorrow, we will come to know how the story will unfold from now. Let me go to bed” she said. “Have you already done with your kitchen chores?” he asked. “Yes, I did. I am feeling little tired. I have been anxious all the while. Now I can sleep peacefully.” she chuckled.  

The next day morning when he got up, he saw her sleeping peacefully from a distance. “Why hasn’t she woken up? These shows are really ruining her health. Let me make the tea and then wake her up” he thought. The kitchen was pristine clean. “It’s been ages since I made tea for her. I need to do it more often” he thought.  He went near her and saw a hidden smile on her face. When he touched to wake her up, she was all cold and numb!

Unwarranted Expectation

Two decades back they had met each other at college. Within no time, they became the closest of friends. She liked his humor and his general attitude towards life. “Everything seems so simple for him. He never cribbed anything about life. He took each day as it comes.” she signed.  She was very aloof, extremely diligent and studious. Her seriousness towards life and her dedication to whatever things she awed him. “Within that diffident, reticent girl lives another fun-loving woman. “he thought.

They left college, got busy with their respective lives. Like any relationship, they had their share of ups and downs. But every time they got back together within no time. They were not regularly in touch, however, whenever they talked, they could start from wherever they left previously.

He met the girl of his dreams and decided to take his relationship to the next level.  She came to know about it through another friend of theirs. She felt miserable. She thought “Why didn’t he tell me? It’s an important decision in his life and all the while during our conversations, he kept it hidden from me.” She expressed her displeasure to him. He said “I was about to say to you. It was not intentional.”  That was all she needed, no other explanations or arguments after that.

Days passed, years passed. She frequented him and his family whenever possible. The warmth they shared, transpired to his family as well. More good things happened to his life. In some instances, she came to know about them through their friends or through his wife. She wondered “Why didn’t he tell me? Does he even value me?” She confronted him but he had reasons for everything. He had no issues with her, whatsoever. 

There came a day when his hard work was recognized by his fraternity. The news was broken to her by his wife. Instead of being happy for success, she got upset and dialed his wife. She told her “Why is that I am always the last person to know about him.” Before his wife could answer her, she hung up. After a while, when everything had settled, she thought “What did I just do? I feel ashamed of myself. How can I face her? She always has been the peacemaker. Also, he has been consistently inconsistent. I should have just accepted him the way he is. Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectation!”  She texted his wife an apology.

Work Nirvana

At work, she opened her inbox. She was flabbergasted to see several emails that were generated in the last fifty minutes. She never felt so important at her workplace. Chat messages popped up on her system asking her to join the ongoing escalation call. She had seen this issue earlier and had reported it. “No one took any actions then. Work in my office gets done only during escalations.” she sighed.

When the customer escalated it as a service impacting issue, he needed someone to bear the brunt. He had seen her email earlier, he handpicked her to face the heat. “She had raised this issue, why didn’t she fix it?” he thought.  All he wanted was a cover up for his negligence and due diligence. He overlooked her statements in the emails that she had written asking for help.

She joined the call, everyone was taking her name. “Who are they? Why do they keep asking me the status? I know the issue but I don’t know the fix” she thought.  Every two minutes, they were asking her for updates. She pinged him, he never responded. She was on the call throughout the day, with absolute no progress. She needed help but no one seems to understand her predicament.

By late evening, he joined the call. He pinged her on her messenger stating that the issue has been escalated to CEO and he will join the call. She replied, “It's good, the more, the merrier!” He was taken aback by her response. She chuckled “All the while he was blind, deaf and mute to my request. It doesn’t matter whoever joins the call. If I don’t know, I don’t know.”