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Bespectacled with a body so thin A face that hides a sardonic grin!!

Monday, November 30, 2009

A Brief Preview of Quarterly Review


Every industry has a process to review the employees, based on which they are promoted or demoted, given pay hikes or the pink slips. Software industry in a way is no exception to this process. Each IT company has their own set of objectives / yardsticks to measure an employee’s performance. Appraisal or the Quarterly Review is a forum where you get to say/hear the "white" lies.

The process commences with the employees doing self appraisal or review. An elaborate explanation should be provided for each of the rating against the pre defined objectives. That’s indeed a marvelous, mind-boggling task! This is the time when the employee gets to say the white lies while rating his/her performance. Now here is the twist - Can a person deliver "beyond expectations"? If that’s the case, then why is he/she still in the same organization doing the same work for the last few years?

My friend recently commented that in today’s scenario, getting a work completed on time is itself a case of delivering beyond expectations. She finds that the new comers are more interested in working on their looks that kills than on programming skills!

Lesson no 1 – Doing the task on time with minimum bugs are at times considered delivering beyond expectations! Now you may ask, what are "minimum bugs"? Sorry, I can’t help you with that for I have been clueless and confused about it from a very long time!

Once the employee has done with his/her self review, it’s the time for the manager to step in and do his/her part of assessing the subordinates. Human beings have an acute acumen to remember and retrieve bad incidents and they conveniently forget the good ones!

Lesson no 2 – Be pleasant and at peace with your superior especially when the appraisal time is round the corner!

The third step to the appraisal process is the review meeting. The employee and his/her superior sit together and have a discussion on the ratings. This is one of the most time consuming step. If the employee is quite vocal and vociferous, he/she can actually have the ratings revised but it’s indeed one of a case! This is the time when the employee gets to hear the white lies – "You are indeed too good but there is still a scope for improvement!"

Lesson no 3 – If you are bad at convincing, better accept the lies.

The last step is the normalization stage, can be also termed as the bidding process. Here, all managers reporting to the same superior sit with the HR and grade the employees reporting to them. One of my friends recently expressed her concern on how people stoop to a very low level to promote his/her candidate. Though everyone knew that her candidate was the right pick, they brought in the low attendance (due to some personal emergency) as a factor to veto his candidature!

The end of the appraisal cycle, the employees are given a hike based on his/her performance - the good ones get a decent one while the bad ones are not at all ignored! In short, people who work really hard gets awarded with more work while others hardly work and still gets paid for no work!



Which path would you choose – the ideal one or the idle one?

Sunday, November 15, 2009

2012 – A disastrous attempt on not so distant disaster!


It’s the first time in my life when I got to see a movie on the very first day of its release. The movie is all about the end of the world, and that too on 12-21-12 as prognosticated by an INDIAN astrophysicist (time for little Garv and Taliyan) Poor guy! Though his prediction turned out to be true, he and his family weren’t saved from the gobbling, gurgling waves of Tsunami!

The film depicts how in spite of the ark being built by Chinese workers, only the Richie Richs of the world, the ones who could afford to buy a ticket worth one billion Euro, got a chance to escape. Anyway, a heartrending speech by American scientist Adrian Helmsley, quoting the lines from the book written by Jackson Curtis convinces the G8 leaders to open the gates of the ark for more people. A melodrama! (What more can we expect from the makers of The Independence Day)

Now, who is Jackson Curtis? Well, he is the hero portraying a zero in life! His book didn’t have much takers, he is separated from his wife who is currently staying with her new surgeon boy friend and her kids with Jackson.

Jackson comes to know about the catastrophe and the film focuses on how he tries to save the lives of his kids, wife and her boyfriend! The movie ends in a happy note – US’s last president’s daughter gets a boyfriend in form of Helmsley (Mr. ex-President! Good that you chose to stay back, you were all the while the sole reason for your daughter being single!), Jackson and his wife reunites (Calamities can reduce divorce rates!) and the ark moves to Africa, to be precise to Cape of Good Hope!

Now, the most interesting part or the lessons learnt – Don’t press the panic button, now that you know that the world will end by 2012. If you have a fat bank balance, a Chinese visa, sound swimming skills and pilot certificate, you would be one among the lucky ones to make it to 0001!

Jokes apart, what’s the one thing that you would have regretted not doing before the end of the world? I would really like to know!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Big, Fat, Finicky Indian Wedding!


The marriage season is back … having a couple of marriages to attend early next year. Marriage is a virtuous institution but I fail to understand why people spend so much of time, energy and money for a lavish ceremony. May be it’s because marriage happens only once in a lifetime!

But is it worth all the efforts and endeavors? People just pour in for all the ceremonies (engagement,wedding,reception), criticizing the food being served, circulating comments about the couple, comparing the ceremonies with ones that they recently attended! Biggest irony is that the bride and the groom have no idea about the people who had shared the dais with them when being clicked!

What if the marriage doesn’t survive? Recently I came to know about a divorcee (father of two grown up children) deciding to walk down the aisle again. He is surely a man of real grit and gumption! May be he had learnt from his past mistakes and will try hard not to repeat them again. This time around he is having a grand marriage followed by a grandeur reception!

My colleague had mentioned how she and her partner decided to have a civil ceremony with just two of them and few random witnesses. Her idea about marriage was that one should get married when one feels like. When, where and how should be left to the individuals who have decided to enter the sacred union of body and soul!



What’s your take on marriage and the ceremonies associated with it?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Anthem for Bangaloreans - Who let the dogs out?


When my sister was new to Bangalore, a decade back, I had asked her “How is Bangalore?” She replied “Bangalore is beautiful. Here, there is a plethora of two things!” Curiously I asked “What’s that?” She said “Software Engineers and Stray Dogs!”

The same situation prevails today. The dog described better as Man’s Best Friend or the Most Faithful Species in the Earth has become a menace. Every lane in Bangalore, stray dogs are in profusion. Looks like they are settling scores with their fellow populace (read Software Engineers)! Attacks by dogs have become the order of the day. Lots of cases are reported daily but seems like nothing is being done about it.

PETA or rather Ms M Gandhi considers it as a criminal offence if the stray dogs are killed, but is it worth keeping them when they can hurt and harm other inhabitants as well? In an era, where doctors recommend Euthanasia for a terminally ill patient, its time to realize and recognize that by killing a stray dog we are indeed palliating its contemptible life!



Do you want the current anthem to remain forever? I want to hear your say!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

What’s Your Rashee?

I am not reviewing the movie starring Ms Piggy Chops in a record breaking 12 avatars, but penning down my interpretation and investigation on the traits of various zodiac signs. These are based on my interactions with people who were/are part of my life during its various stages.



Aries: - He is modest, mellifluous and at times meddlesome!

Taurus: - He is taciturn, techie to the core, stay away from his temper!

Gemini: - He is genuine, gregarious but extremely garrulous!

Cancer: - He is open, organized, total home bird!

Leo: - He is sophisticated, scholarly and stubborn by nature!

Virgo: - He is creative, carefree and once in a while capricious!

Libra: - He is overtly motivated, mysterious, can be manipulative!

Scorpion: - He is sensible, sensitive, way too snobbish!

Sagittarius: - He is independent, positive and quite possessive!

Capricorn: - He is gleaming, gifted, certainly confused!

Aquarius: - He is unpredictable, unpretentious, awfully preoccupied!

Pisces: - He is a devoted, dreamer, perfectionist to the core!

Do you agree or disagree?