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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Big, Fat, Finicky Indian Wedding!

The marriage season is back … having a couple of marriages to attend early next year. Marriage is a virtuous institution but I fail to understand why people spend so much of time, energy and money for a lavish ceremony. May be it’s because marriage happens only once in a lifetime!

But is it worth all the efforts and endeavors? People just pour in for all the ceremonies (engagement,wedding,reception), criticizing the food being served, circulating comments about the couple, comparing the ceremonies with ones that they recently attended! Biggest irony is that the bride and the groom have no idea about the people who had shared the dais with them when being clicked!

What if the marriage doesn’t survive? Recently I came to know about a divorcee (father of two grown up children) deciding to walk down the aisle again. He is surely a man of real grit and gumption! May be he had learnt from his past mistakes and will try hard not to repeat them again. This time around he is having a grand marriage followed by a grandeur reception!

My colleague had mentioned how she and her partner decided to have a civil ceremony with just two of them and few random witnesses. Her idea about marriage was that one should get married when one feels like. When, where and how should be left to the individuals who have decided to enter the sacred union of body and soul!

What’s your take on marriage and the ceremonies associated with it?


arun said...

Marriage! - Not a bad idea at all :)

കവിത - kavitha said...

My idea of a wedding is that it has to be private and not so grand event like what we see often...

But I must admit that, I don't have the right to preach, since my wedding belonged to the semi grand category.

whoami said...

I know that ;) Are you fine with all those ceremonies?

We have no choice, isn't it?

Nasirudheen said...

Along with all the good things, marriage will definitely bring a lot of problems too to life. But not marrying is not a solution for that. So better get married ! Thats my thought. :-)

Regarding ceremony, like most of the other things in life, I am a "middleman" in this case too.:-) I like it as a ceremony with all the dear ones invited. But hate when people make it as an event to show off their wealth.

Thoda Sa said...

Interesting question, primarily because this is one of the aspects where new-age thinking clashes with the traditional mindset. For us, Indians to be precise, I see a wedding ceremony as a get-together, period. We meet up with relatives and friends during occasions and a wedding provides such an occasion. About spending a whole lot of money on food, jewellery and other frills - yes, you do have a point. We can definitely afford to reduce the glitter but I assume (and I can only assume till I experience it) that, from a parent's standpoint, having a grand wedding is a way of showing off your kid and his/her life partner and also what the parents have achieved and provided for their kids. It's probably seen as the last event where they can provide for their kids. Left to the bride and groom, in this new age, I'd suspect most of them would be like your friend who decided to have a very small ceremony. So, the gist of this rambling is - as in all other aspects of life, a balance is necessary, in the wedding ceremony and more importantly, the marriage itself.

Anonymous said...

I think I'll take a middle-path as well. I give some importance to traditions, so I'd prefer a traditional wedding like in a temple or church or mosque. But I agree with cutting down the "show-off" part. There is no point inviting tons of people if you don't personally relate with them.

whoami said...

Marriage is definitely there in my mind ;)

@Thoda Sa
Well said! I shall remember that.

Let’s see how your wedding turns out to be. Keep me posted!